April 29, 2003.
Free brilliant business idea


Here is something I think about at least once every three or four months. It is an idea for a business.

Somebody out there really needs to start a business like this. And then you need to tell me about it, because I promise, I will patronize your business for the rest of my life.

Every three months I go to get the oil in my car changed. Every three months I turn over the keys to my car to a complete stranger and then perch on the edge of an office chair in a dingy waiting room of the oil change facility and wait for thirty minutes while the TV in the corner blasts infomercials at me. I glance at the magazine rack, but the only reading material is a grimy back issue of Auto Racing Digest or Muscle & Fitness.

At some point, an employee, who is completely filthy, covered with grease and clad in a grease-stained uniform, drops into the waiting area, plops down next to me and directs my gaze to a greasy clipboard, and says, "Miss, I wanted to talk to you about your air filter. Can you tell me the last time you had your air filter changed?" and I feel stupid because I don't remember. And then he says, "Have you noticed that you might be needing to change out the rear differential fluid?" and that's my cue to momentarily turn away in shame to hide the fact that I have no idea what the rear differential is or why it might need fluid. And then he tells me that they usually charge $11 each for new windshield wipers, but he'll cut me a break and give me a pair for $20. And I resent him immensely for this entire sequence. It's our song and dance. He tries to sell me more stuff, and I silently shoot little arrows at him through my eyes. After bullying me into a few upsells which I'm sure I don't need, he slinks off, leaving me in the unrest of the dingy waiting room with the infomercials still blaring.

People! This is not right! There are millions of drivers in this country, and I'm sure that half of them are women! I am one of an ocean of women who really dread going to get my oil changed.

So here is the idea for the business.

Somebody needs to start an oil change place that is just for women. I mean, they will of course service cars that belong to men, but this place would really cater to women. Here are the things it would include:

1. A clean waiting area with good lighting. Good lighting really cannot be emphasized enough.

2. Attractive furniture, maybe a couple of loveseats, a few throw pillows. I would not object to a couple of potted ferns or a few peace lillies.

3. Fantastic waiting room magazines. In fact, there would be a little lending library, stocked with older books from Oprah's book club that you never got around to reading. There would be two current copies of Real Simple and other intriguing literature, like National Geographic and Utne Reader and Organic Style. (My gosh, I love magazines.)

4. A certain type of movie would be playing on the TV at a respectable volume. The TV/DVD player setup would be stocked fully with embarrasingly mediocre but guiltily pleasurable chick flicks, including, but not limited to the following:

		• While You Were Sleeping • When Harry Met Sally • Maid in Manhattan • Sabrina • You've Got Mail • Pretty Woman

Franchises of this company that wanted to really soup up their services could also offer optional manicures and pedicures to waiting guests, at extra charge, of course.

5. The employees of the facility would be clean-cut men with gleaming white teeth. If they got a little bit dirty on the job, that would be okay. They could be a little bit unkempt, but they wouldn't smell. They would look trustworthy. They would not mumble; they would look you straight in the eye. They would also keep excellent records of the services that had been performed on my car in the past few years — pressuring me into an optional service wouldn't be necessary anymore.

Believe me. If there was a place like this to get my oil changed, I would go there. I would probably be willing to pay twice as much for the service, too.

This is a brilliant idea just waiting for someone to grab it.

If you decide to go for it, let me know, because I may be interested in snapping up some stock before it gets huge.